You Are Not Alone

posted in: Depression | 0

You Are Not Alone   Research indicates that 80 percent of habitual thinking is negative. It’s no wonder we often feel overwhelmed by feelings of unworthiness, uncertainty and dissatisfaction.  It also could help explain why so many people in NYC seek depression treatment.   We are all actually hardwired to pay more attention to negative experiences than positive ones. It was a survival tactic in our distant past. Today, we don’t have to worry about saber-toothed cats, but there are … Read More

How To Improve Communication In Marriage

Using “I feel” statements to make rather than break your relationship Feelings are indicators about what interests and is important to us, and the expression of feelings is essential for establishing connection and creating intimacy in romantic partnerships. We have to be able to communicate clearly about how we feel in our relationship, such as expressing what we like or dislike about it. However, the clear expression of feelings is often practiced un-artfully. One of the most common errors I … Read More

Principles of non-duality

We usually think of ourselves and others to be independent entities possessing free will and the power to volitionally create our lives as we wish and choose. The non-dual spiritual perspective asserts that this sense of identity is completely illusory. It claims that our sense of individuality is actually a unique expression of a mysterious non-personal vibrant dynamic that presents itself spontaneously according to our internal and external conditioning that has been programmed by itself. We, being only expressions of … Read More

Speaking Your Truth: Six Effective Communication Skills For Couples

The most essential condition of speaking your truth, whether it be addressing a grievance and requesting some kind of change, presenting a different opinion, or asking for what you want, is having the courage to clearly state what it is you want to express. This is usually only possible when your sense of wellbeing and wholeness is inherently felt and not dependent on the approval, agreement, or even the love of your partner. Without this inner sense of sufficiency, you … Read More

Beyond Forgiveness

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In the course of your life there will be incidents where certain people will act in ways that are hurtful or injurious to you. Whether a single incident or repeated offenses, these upsetting actions can be experienced as so offensive that a powerful grievance builds up. Accompanying feelings of resentment or the desire for retaliation might dominate your consciousness and devitalize your spirit. Often it is only the act of forgiveness that can revitalize you. Forgiveness can unblock the channels … Read More

How To Effectively Receive Difficult Feedback From Your Partner

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It is very important to learn how to communicate your feedback, feelings or needs to your partner in an effective way that maximizes you being heard (coming soon in a future post). This post, however, focuses on the art of listening and receiving feedback. The following suggestions can help you manage feedback to deepen connection, engage in self-growth and cultivate authentic communication with your partner.   We all want to foster a loving relationship with our intimate partner in which … Read More

The Art of Developing Self-Acceptance

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Alan Watts, a famous philosopher and spiritual writer, defined self-acceptance as the acceptance of yourself, just as you are right now, before you do anything to make your self more acceptable.This acceptance requires a nonjudgemental attitude toward any trait, quality, characteristic, failing or fault that is deemed negative, troublesome or objectionable. This includes this accepting attitude that accepts even to your inability to do this. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you were in denial of them or that you can’t dislike them … Read More

Interview on Infidelity with Total Health Magazine

posted in: Infidelity | 0

This interview with Richard Sussman was written for Total Health magazine by his wife, therapist, author and teacher Jaqueline Lapa Sussman, MS, LPC. Based upon years of experience working with couples, Richard Sussman’s perspective encompasses a much more complex understanding than the conventional wisdom might suggest, moving beyond a framework of guilt and blame toward mutual compassion, understanding and trust. Click here to view the article.

Conscious Relationships: Creating and Maintaining a Loving Partnership

posted in: Couples | 0

When relationships fail to satisfy us, often it’s not because of any inherent flaw in them, but because of the unrealistic expectations we place on them. We count on them to make up for our privations and disappointments from earlier life. We put our partners in the role of idealized parents whom we require to magically and consistently intuit our needs and to continually fulfill them. Since our partners often share the same fantasy of perfect attunement, it often becomes … Read More

Recovering from an Affair

posted in: Infidelity | 0

The disclosure of an affair can be one of the most devastating events affecting a committed and intimate relationship. The faithful partner’s pain when faced with such betrayal and breach of trust is often too great for the relationship to survive. However, if the couple can weather the initial storm of rage, recrimination, hurt and guilt, in order to develop a perspective that views the affair as a mutual creation with joint but not equal responsibility, it is possible for … Read More

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